"But monkeys don't live in Ecuador, they live in the zoo"-Tyler

Tonight was a special treat for me.  I got to hang out with my nephews and play and enjoy in the creative minds of kids.  I love how Tyler says Ecuador, but my favorite of the night was when I told him that Aunt Em may get to see monkeys in Ecuador and he told me that the monkeys don't live in Ecuador, they live in the zoo!

This is the hardest for me.  I have spent short, but sweet amounts of time with my nephews.  They are all growing so quickly.  And, when Tyler (3 yo) asks me "Aunt Em, why are you going to Ecuador?" it breaks my heart a little to tell him I'm leaving to go teach little boys and girls like him (because a part of me would love to stay and teach here too so I could be closer to him).

We then have a discussion about how all the boys and girls in Ecuador could be his friends.  I am sure they would.  Tyler is extremely sociable.  I am, of course, biased because he's my nephew, but having witnessed him make a random stranger who was obviously having a bad day, melt, I'm convinced he can make friends with anyone and get them to smile.

With 8 hours left before getting up to leave for the airport, I feel very fortunate to have a loving and supportive family.  Now, if only my bags weren't so heavy, I would have nabbed a few of my nephews to come with, but I'm just hopeful all of my bags make it through tomorrow without problem.

Packed?!?

This last month has been extremely reflective for me.  These last few days, even more so.  As I go about marking things off of my to-do list, driving around town, and experiencing the town where I grew up, I feel a mixture of emotions.  I feel excitement for the next adventure; I feel nervousness at all of the unknowns; and I feel sadness for the quick passage of time and soon to be great geographic distance between me and many of my loved ones.  Though, in reality, the life of a graduate student is geographically dispersed.  These last 4 months were the first time I was home for any extended period of time since moving out and heading to college when I was 18!

So, what's the big deal?  I think it's the uncertainty.  Or the unconventional way of finishing my PhD and then heading off to a developing country to try and build a community center, teach, and make ends meet...... (more on this in later posts...).  But, with my dissertation and my divorce behind me, I am ready for the next challenge and adventure.

As I sit in my room tonight, for the last night in a while, with all of my possessions either boxed up or packed in my luggage, I can't help but sing "I'm leaving on a jet plane"  (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fa3h3pnhg8s).  I know the lyrics aren't entirely relevant, but it sticks, and the tears flow in sadness and in joy.  Life is so amazingly wonderful, especially when we live in the moment.

The next big adventure....

I was reading the other day about the Power of Vulnerability (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/15/brene-brown-vulnerability_n_1150976.html?ref=tedtalks2011) and I wondered how many people truly allow themselves to be vulnerable?  And, how difficult it is to really take that leap, to try something crazy, different, and unknown, purely because you feel it is meaningful and important.

A quote from the Huffington Post article, from Howard Thurman really hit home "Don’t ask what the world needs; ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is more people who have come alive." 


And, so it begins.  After several months of thinking, planning, worrying, dreaming, etc.  I am about to embark on a new journey.  A journey that makes me feel vulnerable, yet truly alive.  Follow me here as I journal about the next step post PhD- working in Ecuador with a rural community requesting help on the construction of a community center.